after all storms there is a rainbow

i want to start with a long needed apologize, to those who I pushed away and to those I didn't give a chance to stay in my life. we all make mistakes and I know today that I pushed away good people. im sorry to those people, I hope you forgive me.

Today I look at myself and I can say that im a better person everyday and im proud of that. I still have my bad days but I keep pushing towards the better brighter days. I picked a date for a fundraiser im going to have to help raise money for my doctors appointment in ohio. I must say it feels very weird asking people to help me fundraise but it warms my heart when people say that they will help with getting the word out about the fundraiser.
 I think about all the mistakes I have made, so why would people help me, but then i think about all wonderful, kind hearted people i have in my life and im truly blessed to have all of them in my life. so thank you to all of you. and to those reading just knowing that you are reading this puts a smile on my face.

 I noticed that having an illness, it can be very lonely and its hard, its something I haven't figured out how to get rid of. i get mad lately at the littlest things like school, its hard for me to sit and do school for hours i can do about an hour at a time and it makes me so mad. i remembered a saying the other day, "it gets worse before it gets better". i think right now im at a low in life and i know that something good will come out of this. after a storm there is a rainbow right, well im searching for that rainbow.........